3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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