Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize