That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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