hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
