I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
