6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize