Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
