I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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