The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
