she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
