There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my being single is dangerous.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize