end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
