At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
