my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
