And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize