So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
