I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
