You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
