Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You may now shotgun with the bride
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
