who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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