well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Who died my cat blue again?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
