help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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