I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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