Who wears a wallet chain?!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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