I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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