So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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