mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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