Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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