you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
