is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
They took my balls.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
