Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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