"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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