I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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