Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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