I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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