Someone shit on the floor
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
