This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
