were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
two words: eviction party
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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