i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
