Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize