Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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