Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
When did angry sex become our thing?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
