I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
