We're like a lot better than the average bears
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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