Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
