I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize