ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
