That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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