just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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