We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
