i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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