thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
