he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
