No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
