do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
