Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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