I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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