ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
