# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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