When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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