Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
