my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
