my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Can I color on your dick again?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
