So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
