i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
