The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
